Mad Max: Beyond the Green Belt

Editor:
Of course nobody expected me to keep mum about the ATV road use issue. But I have a completely different approach which really deserves fair consideration.
Anyone who hunts in Ontario is aware that there are zones of lawlessness established by the MNR to allow less fussiness in hunting more remote areas. One of these zones begins north of the French and Mattawa Rivers. In fact, when we drive across the French River bridge on our way north for our annual hunting trip some Goombah in the truck always states: “Well boys, we’re north of the French so it’s every man for himself.” And, of course we laugh as if we’ve never heard it before. Things change, like having your unloaded rifle or shotgun out of the case and sitting beside you ready to jump out of the vehicle and shoot stuff. You also don’t have to exit the highway right-of-way before you load and shoot. Just don’t shoot across the highway. No – not joking.
So using this approach I propose that we establish a new zone outside of the Green Belt where we allow all sorts of freedoms and lawlessness. We really have a great head start anyway. Many folks don’t want to wear a mask during this pandemic. People throw garbage and alcoholic beverage containers onto the side of the road and even on walking trails like the Bruce and Ganaraska. Motorcyclists remove baffles from their mufflers to share their experience with residents. Vehicle windows are tinted so that drivers can text, drink and toke in private. I see parents riding with their little ones on bicycles and not stopping at stop signs, people of all ages riding without high visibility clothing or lighting. Cyclists ride out in the middle of the road and stand in the middle of Mill Street in front of the café in Creemore. Police reports of increased stunt driving and impaired driving are on the rise. Twice last year I was forced off to the side of Airport Road in my van by cars passing on hills. And now Clearview is wanting to establish itself as a place for off-road vehicles to dash around on municipal roads.
I believe we have crossed a threshold whereby it is unreasonable to expect bylaw officers or police to be able to curtail all of the anti-social behaviours, so let’s just put our resources together with a select number of other municipalities in Simcoe County and establish a new Fun Zone. Let’s call it the Thunder Zone. I envision many of you out there wincing, but remember cannabis went from illegal to an essential service in a little over one year. And in the words of the great Robbie Robertson, “You like it now, but you’ll learn to love it later.”
We can make it happen. We can have that dystopian future right here and right now like New York City in the 1981 film Escape from New York or, of course, Mad Max. Anarchy, that can be the new vision for Clearview. Let’s git ‘r done!
Snake Plissken,
AKA Murray Lackie, Creemore.