Father's Day footnotes

By Andy Barrie

My daughter is 38 now, so the the tale I’d like to recall here would be from 1985. She was nine, I 40. I remember it was the Monday after Father’s Day, and I was riding the subway home from work. The lady opposite was clearly staring at my feet. She seemed to be laughing. I followed her gaze down and realized she was laughing not at my feet, but with them. It was my socks, given to me the day before by my daughter. Woven into them were the words, “I Love Dad.”

Now, I could have worn the socks around the house for Father’s Day and then put them away in a drawer. But nine-year-olds have no concept of dressing for dignity. She figured the socks were really cool, and assumed the world would agree. It’s always been this way. First there were the crayoned drawings. If I tried to put them up on the front of the fridge, she wanted to know why I wasn’t taking them to the office. Same thing with a little clay vase that wound up leaking water all over my desk. 

I clearly remember thinking, Enjoy this while it lasts.  

Unlike adults, who often give gifts in hope of getting love in return, kids pick out presents for the pure, nutty pleasure of it. They know they can do no wrong. We think it’s adorable when they save up their pennies and buy us funny socks or cheap cologne, or make some monstrosity out of coloured paper and paste. As we unwrap these treasures, we ooh and ahh and let them feel they’ve fulfilled our heart’s desires. As they get older, they start acting more and more like grown-up gift-givers. They worry about how much to spend, they want hints about what we really want, they begin to get the idea that there’s such a thing as the “right” gift and the “wrong” gift. Meanwhile, Mommy and Daddy don’t make quite the fuss they used to over what they’re given. Somewhere along the line, Dad might even take something back because it was the wrong size or colour. 

So if you should see those socks on someone, somewhere in the days to come, I hope you’ll laugh with them and not at them. The people who write those “Dress For Success” books would probably be horrified. But there’s one tasteful young lady who’ll be delighted that for one day of her year, Daddy dressed for her.