Sober Friends community growing nationally
One of the hardest parts of getting sober, according to Dustin Jones is the isolation.
“When I moved up from Toronto, I didn’t know many people here so I found myself drinking out of boredom and stress,” said Jones. “It wasn’t so much that I needed help with detoxing as I needed to keep busy.“
All of his friends were from his drinking days.
“Having to explain why I wasn’t drinking created pressure,” he said. “Alcohol is the one drug where you have to explain why you don’t do it. Nobody asks you why you’re not smoking crack but in a social situation, there is often pressure to have a drink. Having even one other person who was saying no to alcohol would have made a huge difference.”
Jones started looking for support groups. After an extensive Google search, he discovered that there were online communities focused on sober living, but none that were local and included a social element that would get him out of the house, meeting other people, and creating relationships. He saw a need and last August created Sober Friends Canada.
“I wanted it to be a one-stop shop for people who were sober-curious, those in recovery, and people who have chosen a sober lifestyle even though they don’t have a substance abuse problem,” said Jones. “I wanted a social site that would create safe spaces for meet ups and eventually create community events.”
To date, about 1,400 people have joined a private Facebook group (which requires sign up) and close to 10,000 followers on social media. Jones says Millennials are generally drinking less than Gen X and Gen Y.
“The sober lifestyle is becoming more visible,” he said. “Now you have major beverage companies offering non-alcoholic options.”
For Jones, an important part of recovery is giving back.
“If I can help even one person get on the road to sobriety, this will all be worthwhile. I’m not a professional, just someone with real life experience,” he said. “Through the Facebook group, we can connect you with someone if you need to chat, or want to meet for a coffee.”
His first attempt at creating an actual event was a Halloween Trunk or Treat in Wasaga Beach. More than 700 people showed up, leaving him excited about the potential for more events in the future. Sober Friends has become registered as a not-for-profit and Jones is looking for sponsorship support from local businesses. Eventually, he’d like to see weekly meet-ups with fun, upbeat activities and perhaps one day, a sober bar.
Jones said he never had a “rock bottom” moment but it had become clear to him that he had a problem. “You have do ask yourself, do I control alcohol or does it control me.”
He noticed a big difference in the way he felt within two or three months of sobriety.
“I felt so good. So alive. It’s amazing how you feel. Before I stopped drinking I was afraid of losing friends – that nobody wanted to hang out with me if I wasn’t drinking. Then I realized that you may need to say goodbye to people who bring you down.”
Dry January is a popular health challenge created by Alcohol Change UK which encourages participants to reset habits after holiday season indulgence and reassess the relationship with alcohol. Jones says there is never going to be a perfect time to quit, that you may need to just rip off the bandage.
If you’d like to connect with like- minded people, look for Sober Friends on Facebook and visit soberfriends.ca.
