Director gets second chance to share impactful story
A new documentary has been released with the aim of sharing one man’s story of hope in order to spare the lives of suicidal teens across Canada and beyond.
The film, If You’re Reading This…, produced and directed by Dunedin resident Andrew Murray, is about The Robb Nash Project, a charity that works with schools and communities throughout Canada to support youth mental health.
Murray first met Robb Nash almost a decade ago when he was assigned to produce a segment for a CBC documentary series, We are Canada, created for Canada’s sesquicentennial about individuals expected to lead the country into the next 150 years.
Murray said he was completely enthralled with Nash – the man and his message. Nash had achieved success as a musician in the mid to late 2000s but shocked everyone when he walked away from a record deal for his band, Live on Arrival, in order to tour high schools, chasing social change instead of fame. Murray said he remembers feeling too confined by the 16-minute video and wished he could tell more of Nash’s story. Little did he know he would have that chance years later, and at the personal invitation of Nash himself.
Murray said the rock star is tall, covered in tattoos and wears a Mohawk hairstyle, so when he walks into a high school, students take notice.
During Nash’s shows, traditionally held in school gymnasiums, he tells his story and plays songs inspired by his own mental health struggles, addictions and suicidal thoughts. He was severely injured in a car crash when he was 17 which led to numerous prescriptions for painkillers and sent him on a downward spiral. In the film he describes dark thoughts setting in, self-harming and questioning why he was alive, why’d he get a second chance?
He talks about how he “found a reason to own it” and that “doing for others became a new addiction.” “One of the most misunderstood things about mental illness is when people say that it’s selfish when you take your life because you’re just taking your pain and giving it to other people, and although that happens,” says Nash in the film, “what people don’t understand, if you’ve never been there, you’re convinced that the most selfless thing you could do is leave.” Nash says walking away from the record deal didn’t feel like a sacrifice and what was supposed to have been a nine-month tour of high schools has become his life’s work. He has spoken to hundreds of thousands of teens over 10 years and more than 900 have handed over their suicide notes, indicating they would no longer be needing them. The Robb Nash Project has been called to numerous schools impacted by suicide – once involving an eight-year-old student and once to try to reach an anonymous girl known to have been involved in a suicide pact.
Murray marvels at Nash’s ability to connect with the youth. During that first shoot for CBC, Murray witnessed youth come up to Nash after the show and hand over their suicide notes, razor blades, pills and even shotgun shells. Murray said the experience hit him harder than expected and he remembers flying home from Manitoba, where Nash is based, with tears in his eyes, trying to process what he had witnessed.
Murray said he initially approached the subject matter with some trepidation. “I realized very quickly it was a story about hope, not about sadness,” he said. So when Nash called him out of the blue in 2020, Murray answered. The pandemic had impeded The Robb Nash Project’s ability to reach teens. They couldn’t tour, funding was drying up, and teens were suffering in isolation more than ever. Nash said he needed help to create a video, a way to reach youth from afar, but an idea had not yet been fully formed.
Murray said Nash wanted to focus on the youth who were in recovery and was reluctant to have the spotlight on himself, but Murray eventually convinced him that his story was the message that needed to be shared.
It was by design, said Murray, that the documentary has been released on YouTube. The open platform makes it fully accessible to everyone and can be shown anywhere. By doing so, Murray said the film is out of the running for festivals but there is a hope it will gain traction.
“The hope is that everyone gets to see it and that it helps build awareness, and that it results in donations to the charity,” said Murray.
He said he has never wavered in his commitment to the project and is very proud of the documentary, which resulted in $50,000 in donations in the first days.
If You’re Reading This… is posted on The Robb Nash Project’s YouTube page.
Donate at RobbNash.com.
