Wellness: Where am I at war with myself?

“As within, so without; as above, so below; as the universe, so the soul.” This quote is a modern paraphrase of words found on the Emerald Tablet, a short mystical text attributed to Hermes Trismegistus.

This philosophical perspective promotes the idea that who we are on the inside is mirrored in the world around us, and vice versa. The microcosm (individual) is interconnected with the macrocosm (universe). November has had me thinking a lot about this quote and how it relates to peace.

When I was young I believed that peace was outside of myself. That peace could only be achieved when “those people” stopped fighting or when “those people” learned to get along. In school we learned about the United Nations and the Peacekeepers. We learned about war and how bad people do bad things to good people. How there are victims and perpetrators. How power differentials – those that have and those that don’t – make peace hard.

These concepts of non-peace are true, but lately I’ve been hearing whispers of another truth. A truth that enables me to add or take away from the vibration of peace. A truth that asks how am I promoting peace instead of expecting someone else to take up the charge. That whisper has lead to shining light on shadows that would rather stay in the dark. November began with the question, “where am I at war with myself?” I’m at war with my body when I judge it and compare myself to others. I’m at war with the part of me that doesn’t want to hurt other people’s feelings so I don’t say how I really feel.

I’m at war with the part of me that feels I haven’t helped enough people so what am I really doing with my one wild and precious life? I’m at war with the part of me that wants to howl and dance naked in the moonlight, but also cares what the neighbours think. Many of these battles are present because of my upbringing and societal conditioning. To break free I stepped on the path of healing which exposes internal struggles and offers opportunities to begin again. This path also presented me with the cold hard truth that it’s hard to stand for peace when there’s war going on inside of you.

As I age, the more I understand “as within, so without.” What I do to myself ripples out and impacts others. If I engage the world from my wounded places I’m not a nice person and I do not add to the peace quotient. If I choose to look with curiosity at my inner “wars” and engage in healing practices to transmute them I can be in the world from a more peaceful place. I’ve found that the more peaceful I become the more I see peace all around me. For me peace is not about the bad guys out there its about how I show up in the world. I believe if enough of us did the work to live from the still point of inner peace we would find ourselves in a more peaceful and loving world.

Nicole Hambleton is a wellness coach, meditation, and energy medicine practitioner living in Mulmur. Visit www.purpletentwellness.com.